Why can't I get to sleep?

If we know that during sleep the body sustains the immune system, balances hormones, repairs damage and allows the brain to process and archive information, then we know that we must have it.  But what do we do when we find ourselves wide-eyed and brain whirling when we should be sleeping?  One technique that I have found useful is to do a brain dump.  Get up and make a list of every single thing that I know I need to get done.  The affect of this is that I now know nothing will slip through the cracks and be forgotten and I can relax.

Being unable to sleep often points to lifestyle choices we have made. Ask yourself, “Was it worth it?” Occasionally the answer will be ‘yes’; and in this case just get up and read for a while and live with the consequences the next day.  But if sleeplessness becomes a regular occurrence, some major changes are in order.

Make a List

Make a list of your routines from about 6:00 pm onward and choose the most obvious lifestyle change to make.  Then monitor the results you get.  One general principle is that our body and mind must be ready for rest and be in a relaxed state.

Getting relaxed for sleep

Meditation, relaxation tapes, journalling – each have some value.  If none of these have any affect, then it’s time to seek professional help.

Have you applied for any jobs or roles that you didn’t get?

Did you try again?

Tell us about something tried and resulted in failure.

What failure are you most proud of?  Why?

On the Spot

If you were asked questions like these in a job interview, how would you respond?  Most applicants today prepare themselves to respond to behavioral questions by looking at the job competencies and pulling out their successes.  Questions like these could really throw us for a loop if we are not prepared for them.

What would an interviewer be looking for with these questions?  Here are a few ideas that come to mind:

• Was this failure experienced as a learning?
• Does this candidate suffer from perfectionism?
• What level of determination does this candidate possess?
• Do we see optimism or pessimism in this person?
• What is the person’s risk taking tolerance level?
• What does this tell us about problem solving and innovation skills?
• Does this person experience a high degree of “fear of failure”?
• Does this person know how to fail?
• How does this person handle obstacles?

These questions have the potential to teach us large lessons about ourselves if we take the time to reflect on them.

Have you ever been asked a question in an interview that you were not prepared for?  Let’s hear them!  They would be very instructive for others preparing for interviews.

Business Networing

Why do SOHO (Small Office/Home Office) operators need support teams and groups?

• To overcome the isolation experienced by solopreneurs.  We all need a sounding board at one time or another.

• To make connections with potential clients and service providers.  It’s always more comfortable to deal with someone we know and trust.

• To become known by others,  so they can recommend us and our product or service.  Gotta love the sneezers!

• To learn new approaches to conducting business. Learning from others’ successes and challenges saves time and dollars.

• To give and receive feedback, support and encouragement.  We all love to hear good things about ourselves and our work.

• To make new friends and belong to a “tribe”.   When I was new in town, I joined this group and found some delightful like-minded people.

These are the things we receive for sure.  But as individual members of such a group, what do we need to do to ensure that others actually receive these benefits?  And what does the organization need to do?

My first thought is that I want to create an atmosphere that is welcoming, and interested.  Do you have ideas about doing that?  Please share your experiences both positive and negative (because we can learn from both).

There must be a more positive and constructive wayto review and plan together!

I asked “How would you feel if the focus of the review began with an exploration of your strengths?” She replied “If only…”, that she would love it if the conversation explored her aspirations for her clients and ways that she can improve her work.  Approaching it this way, would feel like support, rather than a big criticism.

Having worn both hats (employee and employer) in the past, I recall that performance reviewing is challenging for both. Often the exercise is seen as a useless paper exercise to satisfy a management demand and to ensure that no unobjective statements appear on the employee file.  But what if we put away the paper process and focused on our relationship? Wouldn’t there be a greater liklihood of a meeting of minds and pulling together?

As with most relationships, our feelings play a huge part.  So how does each party in the performance review prepare emotionally for this conversation?  Each might think about what positive outcomes could result.

Supervisor: What do I want my employee to be feeling after our conversation?  What is my objective here?  The answer might be: “To acknowledge the employee’s strengths and accomplishments and to build self-esteem.  To help her discover some positive growth opportunites and to be energized by them.”

Employee: What do I want to gain from this conversation and how do I want to feel after our conversation?  The answer might be: “To know what my contribution has been and to gain a full understanding of our vision and plans.  To discover some positive and energizing growth opportunities for the coming year.”

How does your organization set a positive tone for its performance review/planning exercise?

• What if 2010 began with you feeling that this year will reach new heights of optimism and accomplishment?
• If this were the case, what would you be thinking and doing this week?

Yes, what would I be thinking and doing?  One thing I could do is a personal retreat day to reconnect with myself and my career.

This is a summary of the process that I followed. I came away with a renewed sense of direction and meaning that I hope you too will gain as you play with this exercise.

1.  Plan a personal retreat day or half-day.  Find a favourite quiet spot to be alone and uninterrupted.  It’s important that it not be where you work, watch TV or socialize.  I have used the library, a coffee shop and the beach – all with success.

2.  Involve some activity to help you relax.  The right type of music on your I-Pod perhaps, or a nice new writing journal and pen, some coloured pens, post-its – whatever brings up enjoyment for you.

3.   Take a few moments to reflect on the meaning of two quotes – “Actions aligned with our inner truth will make things happen naturally”  and “When you pay attention to the quality of your presence, you begin to create the world you want.”

Jim Lord's Book

(Jim Lord in “What Kind of World Do You Want?“, a beautiful book that shows how to apply Appreciative Inquiry in the real world)

4.  In your journal write a story or narrative or make a list – whatever your style – about the high points of your career last year that made you feel proud, energized and alive.  Be sure to make note of what made these high points possible.

5. Interview yourself about that story:
-what values and beliefs?
- what vision?
- what talents?
- what hopes?
- what have you nurtured?
- what results?

6.  Consider how you can have more of the above.  What would success for 2010 look like for you?

7.  Now, take  some time to sit back and visualize the coming year having all the positive activities, thoughts and feelings that mean your success.  Notice the sense of well being that you feel right now so that you can return to this positive place as needed.  In the coming year, let’s remember to focus on our strengths and successes

Please add your appreciative stories below so that others may be inspired by your experiences.

On listening to Christmas music this week and thinking about the thoughts and emotions it brought up, I began to think about just what I think makes Christmas important. I’ve found that there is quite a list for me:

Christmas is a time:

Christmas Tree

• when it’s OK to express our emotions openly;
• for sharing – ourselves, our time, our wealth, our gifts;
• for reflection on winter’s promise of spring –Winter Solstice;
• for listening to and singing familiar carols and songs that connect us to past ages and traditions;
• to reflect on family connections and childhood through individual traditions of food, music and memories;
• to connect with something universal, something bigger than ourselves;
• to participate in this social/cultural occasion that helps us share the common set of values of peace and love;
  

  Love

• for celebrating the joy and abundance of our world;
• for expressing our creativity in the way we decorate our communities, homes, and our tables;
• of connection and visiting;
• for reading a good book;
• for a party;
• to get dressed up in our finest;

Bright White Unseen By Roger Byrt

I hope that you can find the time for some reflection on the true meaning of Christmas for you personally.  Try journaling your thoughts and then share your sense of meaning with us.

Here’s one way to combine lunch time, vigorous discussion and continuous learning:  Designate a day per week or month to bring a brown bag lunch and watch some inspiring and informative videos.

The magic is in  processing your learning together!

Here’s a few suggestions to get you started:

• Trombone Player Wanted
• Work Stress Management
• Who Moved My Cheese
• Teamwork
• Employee Motivation: Elements of Greatness
• Your Attitude

Now this is disorganization!

Think about the impact of this on your morning.  Now what can I wear to work today?  The first thing you try has a button missing, the next has a spot of ketchup and salad dressing on the front.  Where’s that jacket? I don’t have time to iron that shirt…

You get the idea.

Now what if your closet looked like this?

WOW! How Organized!

With your work clothes organized, just think of the time you will save in the morning.  You will begin your day on a positive note; you might even have time for a leisurely cuppa java and the newspaper.

Your positive and organized feeling will spill over into your entire day at the office.

Give it a try …..You’ll see!

How can employees deal with this situation more constructively?  First, it will be important to learn as much as possible about the change – why and how it came to be.  Then to gain real clarity about the expected end results.

Once these basics are known and understood, then it will be be more constructive to focus thinking and discussion on  the positive aspects of the change rather than all the negatives that usually come out at this time:

• What are the strengths of our organization?
• How can we enhance those strengths, given this new set of circumstances?
• Why have we been proud of this organization in the past?
• What can we do to support one another during the implementation of this change?
• How will this change impact the survival of the organization?
• In what ways can we streamline our processes and services?
• What does our vision for the organization look like now?
• How can we stay focused only on what we have control over?

While it is important to acknowledge the pain of dramatic endings; it is not healthy to stay in a negative place for long.  Negativity is catching in organizations and leads us into a downward spiral until we dread going to work in the morning.  Not a great way to survive;  we can choose it to be otherwise.

We cannot direct the winds, but we can adjust our sails!

- Bertha Calloway

Transformational Coaching

This week I attended a coaching breakfast where Thomas Crane, author of  “The Heart of Coaching – Using Transformational Coaching to Create a High-Performance Culture”.  You can find his blog here.

Later, while discussing leadership development with a client, the subject of coaching culture came up again.  Whose job is it to make this happen?  Leaders?  the HR Department?  Individuals?  We decided that it is all three.

Would you enjoy your work experience more in an organization where people know how to provide feedback and support?  How about forming a community of practise?

A great way to rejuvenate your career might be to find a few like minded colleagues to have lunch together regularly to review and discuss Crane’s book.  Perhaps as Crane suggested pairs could agree to coach each other and practice good coaching questions and feedback.  The book provides a very practical model that could be adapted to almost every type of relationship.